A woman of career mind, all about me, getting the cudos from the higher ups and the praise at the end of a job well done. That was me. For ten years I was a woman who took great pleasure and pride in her work as an educational planner of symposia, workshops and conferences both here and abroad for an international scientific organization. I had achieved what I said I would do in my high school yearbook, and that was to one day work in international business. A goal achieved! I had an office with a window with park like setting view, a team of extraordinary women with whom to work and an ocean of co-workers with whom we shared the ups and downs of life. The excitement of pending births, the loss of loved ones, the annual turning of yet another year older celebrated with the obligator ice cream cake, triumphs and tribulations of children and the occasional good-bye of co-workers seeking new paths. That was office life, that was my life for a decade. Then came the birth of my first child, a daughter named Bridget. I never thought I would become a mom yet here she was and I, now a mom. It was the greates unexpected pleasure and triumph of my life thus far. If you are a mom reading this, I don't even need to expand on the overwhelming sense of love and commitment a woman feels after giving birth to a child.
So I continued my life as career woman after the arrival of Bridget but with a new balancing act of motherhood and career. I began to resent that I was missing so much of her young life that passes by all to quickly. I resented that I got the calls from daycare when she was sick and it was I that had to clear her schedule and cancel meetings to care for the sick child because the husband could not, yet at the same time I was happy that I was the one who was able to clear the schedule and cancel meetings to give my sick child the cuddles of a mom that my sick child needed when my husband could not.
For two years Bridget and I made the long commute through traffic and a merriad of elements to make it to our end destination of daycare goodbyes and then mom off to her office with a window. And then I became with child again. Inside me growing was our new addition to the family, a son, a little boy who would be named Conor. As Conor's arrival to our little family grew closer, I began to think how much Bridget had grown, thrived and changed in the short two year's she's been with us. I also began to think of all that I had missed of her short two year's that she spent with, fabulous might I add, care takers at her daycare. I no longer had the financial burden of needing to work and now had the choice of wanting to work versus stay at home full time. The decision was overwhelming, scary, sad, exciting and constantly on my mind as my belly grew ever closer to the edge of my desk. I hadn't told anyone at work of the storm of emotions that had laid themselves to rest on my shoulders of an unbearable weight. One day it hit me. What was I afraid of you ask? Let me tell you. I was afraid of giving up "me" as was defined by my career or a job. That piece of a person that lets them interact with other people, express their business creativity, their financial independence and an escape from the mundane duties needed to upkeep a home. I feared that my employer could not survive without me and I would disappoint them. Oh yes, the over inflated sense of importance of a Type A, egotistical career woman. Then I had this enlightenment and excitement of what could become of me with a new change in life. A new path not yet taken by me and oh what new possibilities that may lie ahead with this huge change and decision I was about to make. And so I handed in my resignation during my maternity leave after the birth of my little boy. At a simple phone call to my boss, I went from international event planner to stay at home mom. And so my journey of finding passion begins. Follow me as I take you on my journey of living a life I never thought I would live, and love, and how I found a new passion that has awakened me in so many ways.
